I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
