Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you traded sex for a burrito?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
