There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
