I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
