he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize