I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
