So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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