We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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