In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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