we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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