We won't sleep together?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
