It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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