the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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