it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
