I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Randomize
