No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
