This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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