Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
