At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
