Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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