awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
