worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
