u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
