He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
