We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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