i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
