Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize