is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
