I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
