i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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