Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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