Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
