Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
