felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize