the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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