Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
