I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
