arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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