yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
