Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
