dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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