It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
