are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just invented taco cereal.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
