i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
