If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
