I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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