like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
