Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize