I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
