i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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