i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
These tits shall not be calmed
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
