she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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