i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
