he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
