Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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