Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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