Yo dont text me then not text me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
