my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize