I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
