Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
