At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize