It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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