remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
