are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
