yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
