Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
