Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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