I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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