Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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