hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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