just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize