on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
