I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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