i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
