only if we run a train.
done.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i dont even know how to be here
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
