I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
