I skipped work to stalk him.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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