If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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