I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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