OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
