I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
